Since the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden, the couple is, par excellence, the protagonist of the journey. And as anthropologist Jean-Didier Urbain, a tourism specialist, says, the archetype of traveling as a couple is, of course, the honeymoon. A trip “committed, offered and openly initiating” which allows you to dedicate yourself to the other and focus on love.
Therefore, any escape for two is perceived as “an enchanted parenthesis”analyzes for his part the psychosociologist Patricia Delahaie. “It is a moment where the couple multiplies the opportunities to discuss what they see, what they experience, the people they meet. Everything is exotic, even the topics of conversation. Also physically, the spouses get closer, and not only at night, she continues. They are side by side in the plane, the train, in the pictures … In short, closer than ever before. »
“Get to know your spouse better”
The tour takes the couple out of routine and prosaic topics and allows them to share impressions and sensations. “One will like a taste or a color and ask the other for their opinion, adds the author of how to love each other forever (Duke). These exchanges will allow you to get to know your spouse better, but also to get to know yourself better.. »
From him Jeremy learned that it was he “able to return” and “to relativize” on some material issues. “When you travel with a backpack, you realize that another life is possible”, he jokes. At Sandy, his buddy, the young 33-year-old engineer says he spotted one “enormous generosity” and “organizational ability” that he did not see “not necessarily on a daily basis”.
Settled for three years in the United Arab Emirates, where the couple “seize a professional opportunity”they traveled for eleven months between Iran, Southeast Asia and New Zealand before returning to France in 2018.
Experiential couple therapy
If the trip provides an opportunity to get to know each other better, it can also make us discover aspects that we care less about in others or in ourselves. The longer the journey is and the further away from the beaten path, the more it exposes the spouses to this disappointment. “Travel is experiential couples therapy,” says even Jean-Didier Urbain. To leave as a couple is “an act of liberation from family, friendly or professional social networks to move towards discovery, but it is also a sharing of hardships that can consolidate or explode the couple”, reminds the book author The ride was almost perfect (Ed. Petite Bibl. Payot).
Jeremy confirms: “It’s a revelation to spouses, he analyzes with hindsight. You have to feel good together and trust each other, because you can only trust the other or yourself. » The young man acknowledges that the couple has sometimes experienced difficult times. ” This adventure united us, but it was also an ordeal in discomfort, with budgetary constraints, the unknown and moments of uncertainty. »
A moment of truth for spouses
In the adventure, it is necessary to control the daily life, the activities, the organization of time and “especially the unexpected, whereas everything is planned on a trip of two or three weeks”raises the globetrotter. The enchanted parenthesis would only last a while, he even suggests. “It is difficult to make an effort in the long term. After one or two months, the natural comes back to gallop andt, there it is a moment of truth for the couple. »
For example, Anaëlle and Cyril, who went on a ten-month trip to China and Southeast Asia, had to take time alone to avoid being together 24 hours a day. “My partner got up early to go to yoga or read and I went for a walk while he slept. Without those breaths, I’m not sure the trip would have gone so well. ” she confides (Read more about the statement here).
“Every single one is a little in the hard”
The needs of the spouses do not always naturally match. One might want to push the adventure by being content with rudimentary hygienic conditions, while the other would like to stay connected, take a real bath and sleep in a bed. “On this kind of journey, everyone is a bit in a raw state, notes Patricia Delahaie. IThere is no longer too much room for seduction.We need to take into account the body’s promiscuity, smells … It’s a real moment for sharing. »
Couples who go on adventures often think that they are a little apart, says the psychosociologist. “They like the unexpected and are happy with the solutions they find to deal with it, she says. They see themselves a little differently than the others, more open, more brave.And since they are in phase in sometimes difficult situations, they think they are created for each other. »
Choose the right time, the right duration and the type of trip
Do we already have to live together to embark on a long journey? ” Not necessarily, answers Patricia Delahaie, love is also carried away and goes to places where we would not have gone alone. The important thing is to know yourself well and be sure of your taste. » On the other hand, she adds, there may be “moments more favorable than others for this kind of trip”.
The duration must also be evaluated. For Jean-Didier Urbain, traveling for more than a month “live time to repair, to rebuild, for there are times when solidarity crumbles, where we do not interpret what we live the same way, and where we need time for discussion to continue on the path.”
The now rare backpacking trip
Before starting, it is also necessary to agree on the type of travel, he advises. ” Backpacks have become rare. Couples prefer traveling or stage trips with rent booked in advance. » Among Voyageurs du monde, we also notice an increase in longer, more unusual rides that are more focused on the outdoors. A model that Jean-Didier Urbain compares to pilgrimages, “Extremely fashionable”.
Jeremy and Anaëlle each hold an unforgettable memory of their adventures. “UShis journey is a place where we draw to build our relationship ”, said the Nantes native at adoption. As for Anaëlle, now a mother of two, she would like to one day repeat the same journey with her family.
The French’s new hopes for holidays
Relaxation and relaxation. The French want to take time during their vacations (62%) to rest and recharge their batteries in peace (61%), according to the National Federation of Institutional Tourism Organizations.
Change of nature, interruption, discovery and enrichment. 78% of respondents want to discover landscapes and 68% new places. The survey also notes a strong demand for cultural heritage finds (69%) and gastronomy (54%).
Comfort, well-being and nature. For future stays, the French seek more comfort and well-being (+10 points) as well as a return to nature (+4 points). They also long for longer vacations.